11:55 pm
All the plans are finalized now for grandma’s funeral Thursday. We are using ______Funeral Homes.
Today, mom and I went out there, and we bought some “sending off” clothes for grandma: a white turtleneck, long-sleeved sweater/shirt to wear underneath a greyish colored dress, with [undergarments], sheer stockings and all topped off with one of her favorite hats that she owned.
Mom and I then left the funeral home to drive over to meet with Pastor/Reverand ______, a Barbadian guy in his 30s who works at grandma’s church. He was really nice and immediately said a prayer for us when we walked into his office (as well as before we left). He was very personable.
I spoke to Meghan on AIM tonight. She wanted to see how I was doing, and she had a few really kind words to say about grandma and how our bodies are really “shells” in which our spirits live. It was a really nice thought. I wish I could wholeheartedly believe it.
I wait patiently for grandma. You’d think she’d want to come running over to me to say ‘hello,’ but maybe there are rules once you pass on. I just want so badly to know that she is ok- that she is so much happier where she is. A large part of these funeral shenanigans is about making her happy with what I think she would’ve wanted.
I miss you so much, grandma. I hope that wherever you are, you can hear me.
12:13 am